I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
