last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
