I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
