I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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