Someone shit on the floor
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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