My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
