Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I believe in your delicious
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
