the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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