Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
