Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
God I need to hump something, right now.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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