the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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