Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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