Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
