(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
