i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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