You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
