i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
