Can i not drive my cunt home
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
