Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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