maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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