I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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