that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
