I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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