your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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