Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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