you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
