am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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