I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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