He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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