dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
