I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
