Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
