I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
