is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i will never coherently bang her
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
