he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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