the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Sorry my hands just texted you
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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