get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Randomize
