i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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