honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
