He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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