Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
