Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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