my sisters under your porch take her home
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
