Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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