brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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