'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
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