My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
