What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
