but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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