My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
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