It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
