Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
