Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
