How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
