I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
